Facebook and my Mental Health

Ya know, there used to be a time when Facebook totally rocked.
When many nights were filled with random fits of laughter and fun banter alongside getting lovely updates from family and friends.

Honestly, I LOVED Facebook. At times, probably a bit too much. Not a day went by when there was nothing on my news feed that made me laugh.

But then something changed. It seemed to have a massive shift and suddenly became quite a dark place.

People began ignoring people.
People became self centred.
People became easily offended.
People became easily offended about those who became offended.
People became horrible towards other people.
People began to only use Facebook to brag about how perfect their life was compared to others.
People began to have a “Facebook life” and a normal real life.
People began to judge others.
People began to spit more hatred.
People began fishing for likes and attention.
And the worst thing – people stopped sharing stuff about cats. {WHY, God, WHYYYYYYY!)

I’ve said it many times before about how awful Facebook is if you suffer from mental health issues.
It’s also pretty shitty if you’re a new mum too. Not always, granted, but it still piles on extra pressure….

I constantly go from being on a self-made facebook ban, to then logging back in and instantly hating the world.

I can honestly start my day perfectly normal – I can meditate, get up bright, breezy and motivated, and then spend 10/20 minutes scrolling through my news feed and literally feel my mood deflating for various reasons.

And then, before I know it, I’m full of feelings like insane loneliness, sadness, emptiness, paranoia….
I feel judged, depressed, deflated, let down, ignored, pointless, like a shit mum and a shit wife… believe me when I say the list is endless.
And that’s just after a small amount of time scrolling.

Normally when my news feed gets to me like that, I have to ask my hubby to change my password and keep it a secret so that I can take a proper break from my personal Facebook and only use my pages app for things work related.

Which generally works really well (apart from when I need to make posts in my groups, or you need to use other apps that you registered on via that facebook button, which now means it’s hard to log in *looks at the KFC app creators*), and in a day or two I’m back to my happy “no shits given”, bouncy self, loving life and being super-awesome.

But I always end up logging back in at some point. And then the cycle begins again.

So why do I do it? Why do I keep logging into that stupid site?

Sometimes it’s for work, sometimes it’s because I need advice from a group I’m in, sometimes it’s so that I can check up on a friend and make sure they’re ok…. but every time I say to my self “it’ll only take a minute”…. and 3 hours later I’m still logged in :/

Which is stupid really, based on how much a flipping hate the damn website.

I’m just sick of it.

It no longer serves me in life. It no longer fulfils my needs. It no longer brings sunshine to my life.

And so off it goes.

For the rest of the day I will be building a new life without Facebook.

Instead of “needing” groups to get my information and tips from, I shall be joining forums specifically for that area.
I will be signing up to news letters on websites that I find valuable instead of joining their VIP groups on Facebook (of which, Facebook will probably hide the posts from my news feed anyway!)

When I chat to parents at the children’s centres, and they tell me they’re struggling to keep on top of things and they’re finding it hard to cope, my first bit of advice is ALWAYS to log out of Facebook – either for a day, or a week and see how different their day goes.
When I talk to others and offer them advice on self-care, I tell them to do the same. I also recommend they turn their phone on to Aeroplane mode to fully disconnect for 30 minutes, or an hour, just to switch off and see what difference that makes.

The scary thing is that each time I suggest it, the majority look at me like I have 3 heads. I’m only suggesting they don’t use a website for a day or something, yet it’s viewed like I’ve told them to hold their breath for 2 years….

It’s crazy.

But what’s even crazier is that even though I KNOW what difference it makes, and I KNOW how much it alters my moods and behaviour…… I’m still there.

Until now.

It’s been 2 hours since I logged in and have spent that time tidying up my email account so that I don’t miss these vital news letters… I’ve logged out of Facebook and Mr Plinky has changed my password.
I’ll obviously still have my pages app and blog for anything work related, but other than that, I’m aiming to spend the rest of the year Facebook free :O

I’m equally scared and excited at the same time, but I KNOW it’s what my crazy-head (and family) need.

So how about you and Facebook? Could you go a day without it? How many of you are currently on a self-made Facebook ban? Or do you know of any news letters or websites that I *need* to sign up to?

Chat soon
Kate xx