So lately we’ve noticed the world is becoming a lot harder for Boe and his High Sensitivity.
If you’ve not read anything before about HS, then this link pretty much sum up what being a HS means to Boe, and what it means to us as his parents.
Basically, in a nut shell, when we go anywhere, Boe notices things that not all children do. The world is a huge sensory trap for him. He’ll notice the smell of the coffee, the smell of people, the faint buzzing from a fridge or flourescent light, the chatter, the emotions of people, the loudness of their beings (not always their voices), the temperature, the brightness (or darkness), the vast amount of colours, what a chair or the floor feels like when he sits down…. he’ll notice if there’s been any changes to our local restaurant, or if I’ve used a different sauce in his spaghetti bolognese, the labels in his slippers cause him unbelievable pain, a t-shirt can be too itchy….which to a toddler also trying to find his way around the big huge world, as you can imagine, all these can sometimes can all be a bit too over-powering.
Recently we’ve come across new or more intense sensory issues – if he can hear a hand drier in the public toilets, regardless of how desperate he is, he will completely refuse to even go in the main door. Before, we would be able to go as long as he wasn’t anywhere near the drier, so this has become more intense for him.
He’s also been refusing to go to Tesco or Aldi (both of which he’s loved since being a baby), and everytime we say we have to go shopping, he’ll cover his ears and say “no mummy, it’s too loud”…. or if he knows we have to go to a group event, he says the same – that it’s too loud. Which is truly heartbreaking – especially when it’s not just “normal noise” that he’s referring to, so there’s not much you can do about it….
Sometimes we cancel plans or put off doing anything that we know will cause Boe to have an overload meltdown, but sometimes we just HAVE to do these things, so we’ve started to put together a little bag for him to take with us when we go out.
In our bag we have:
(Contains some aff links)
Noise cancelling headphones – these have been a must-have for us, although Boe’s of the age now where it’s difficult to keep them on him. They obviously don’t cancel out the “loud” from people’s emotions or the lights in the stores, but they help with normal noise.
Playdoh and a laminated playdoh mat, depending on where we were going. This is vital to help Boe switch off from the hussle and bustle around us. Boe is like me and enjoys playing with playdoh, and we both find it so relaxing, so it was the perfect addition to his bag! I’d like to say I’m the kind of mum who’s made our own playdoh and added some soothing essential oils in there (like lavender or something), but currently I’m not. I will do in time, but for now, shop-bought is doing the job lol.
Boe’s favourite book – this changes quite regularly. It started off as The Gruffalo, then we moved to any random book, before going through PJ Masks, and more recently Oi Frog. We like to take a book with us so that if we find a quiet little space somewhere, we can read a familiar story while Boe self-regulates.
Ideas cards – I found these awesome prompt cards on Pinterest – the idea is that we go through the pile of suggestions and find what works for Boe to find calm. This can be a simple task of having a glass of water, breathing deeply, hum a song or just have a hug.
Calm Bottle – we made a simple 3 ingredient glitter bottle specifically for Boe’s new bag. You can read our step-by-step blog HERE to learn how we did it.
His favourite toy – Boe’s favourite toy changes quite regularly, but generally if it’s easy to hold in one hand, it’ll comfort him. The small plush toys are great for this – recently he’s reverted back to his Catboy plush, his Hungry Caterpillar, and Scooby Doo, so you might see us with one of these three at some point.
A home-made stress ball – this is our newest addition and again, something I found on Pinterest. We’ve not used it yet during an over-load, but hopefully it’ll be a success. I’ll be writing up a How-To for this over the next few days.
Boe’s special collection of crystals – it’s pretty common knowledge that we have crystals for all sorts in our house, but I recently got Joe his own special set, which you can read about HERE. He picks out whatever chrystal he’s drawn to at the time and gives it a little rub 🙂
His tablet – yes, I know… screen time screen time etc…. but trust me, there are times when popping Room on the Broom on or one of his apps are the ONLY thing that helps him regulate all those sensory over-loads and emotions and switch off from the world. And if you’ve ever seen the difference between a sensory overload and a normal tantrum, then you’ll understand that we can only do what’s best, and sometimes breaking a few “perfect mum” rules are what’s needed.
So that’s our survival kit for this next stage of adventure. Hopefully the newest additions will add another dimention to his calm bag and help him.
Whilst the world can sometimes be a mind-blow for him, there are some things we just can’t avoid, plus we don’t want him to miss out on experiences or have anxiety about going to certain places.
I’ll be popping in some photos of our bag very soon – I’m currently stuck in bed at the moment, so can’t take any 🙁
Have you got a Highly Sensitive child and do you have a bag? What items do you have in yours?
Kate xx