Why self-care is so important to mums

Hey mama…. I see you there, trying to put on a brave face to the world, but inside you’re melting…. drowning in this new world of the unknown…..

It’s been another long day of parenting. Another day of acting like you have your shit together and that handling a baby on top of keeping the house ticking over is as simple as the world has made you think it is.

We’ve all been there… wondering what their cries mean, wondering if they’re sick, logging into Wonder Weeks to see if they’re due a leap or if the dreaded lightning bolt is due around today, entertaining them (which can be blinking exhausting in itself) on top of planning dinner (or in our case, trying to work out what take away to have because mama was too exhausted to cook… that’s a little secret between you and I though). feeding them, playing with them, feeding them some more….remembering appointments and birthdays, gatherings and sending cards and gifts… hoovering, dusting, doing the laundry (all that laundry….wtf does it all come from?!)

And the one thing that was so exhausting for me as a new mum…. constantly worrying if I was doing it right.

And ya know what, I wasn’t. Because of one thing.

I’m a mum. 24/7.
Maybe you were born to be a mum and you’re rocking that shit. Maybe you weren’t born to be a mum and don’t feel like you’re rocking it.

I’m a wife. 24/7.
Maybe you were born to be a wife and you’re rocking that shit too. Maybe you weren’t born to be a wife and don’t feel like you’re rocking it.

I’m me. 24/7.
Wait… what?

We all do it…. We all get so caught up in being in full time mum / wife mode that we forget about the most vital ingredient in the family mix.

OURSELVES!

Making time for yourself is massively important, yet it’s the first thing that gets kicked to the kerb as a new mum.

When I first became a mama, I was so intent on being a perfect mama and wife that I forgot how to be me.

I gave and gave and gave, and eventually I just ran out of me to give.

My body became riddled with constant pain from head to toe, my legs wouldn’t work sometimes, I couldn’t sleep (not exactly a new thing, but it had become worse), I couldn’t leave the house, not even into the back garden. I’d be in hospital for days, and I’d come back and would start to give as hard as I could instantly, which obviously did me no favours. I was done. I was 100% broken. I was diagnosed (and then not helped with) pre and post natal depression and extreme anxiety which left me unable to even feel like I was capable of looking after my own child.

And in October 2017 I ran my first proper bath. A proper one. Not jumping in a fairly cold bath after the toddler has been in it causing tsunamis throughout the bathroom…. Not having a “mum” shower and that being enough. I lit candles. Used hot water. Mixed a few drops of essential oils & milk to soak in. And I just STOPPED. I stopped, relaxed, and took in some deep breaths. And I literally felt my body recharge in that hour of calm.

If I asked when the last time you had a long RELAXING bath was, or the last time you took part in a hobby you used to like, or the last time you just STOPPED and did something that made you truly happy what would your answer be?

Exactly.

We females have created this crazy habit of devoting more than we’re capable of to our kids. Or even our work. Sometimes even both.

And if you’re like me, eventually that lack of being able to give will turn to anger or frustration and you’re just a big volcano waiting to blow.

Which is not cool.

But it does happen at times. We’re only human.

After that one bath and realising self-care was the answer, I was able to stop taking my 97 pain meds a week. I’ve left the house on my own (only once or twice, but it’s more than I did in the previous year!) and I only lose it for one day a month, which is hormonal based, rather than being consumed by bitterness at my husband for being able to go to work for 8 hours a day, or frustration that my house is so cluttered and never tidy.
I’m creating relaxing spaces in rooms for me to be able to sit near and switch off during the day to focus on deep breathing without having to neglect family time, I’m doing 3 minute meditations in the morning before everyone wakes up, I’m doing half hour meditations when everyone has gone to bed and then a quick sleepy yoga before falling into bed and I’ll make time for a minimum of two candle-lit essential oil baths a week. I’m certainly not rocking every area of our family life right now, but I’m handling it, which is a massive improvement.

And that’s why I KNOW first-hand how important self-care is. It’s just as important as feeding your child, in my opinion.

Whether you make time for a 15 minute yoga session, sitting out in the morning sunshine with a cuppa in the calm before the rest of the house wakes up, or a glass of prosecco once everyone’s gone to bed, whether it’s having a massage or doing a 3 minute facial on yourself or just literally just sitting on the sofa and STOPPING everything – even thinking, and having a few deep breaths, making time for self-care is so important. And your whole family will benefit from it if you make time for you.

You get to be YOU. You get to enjoy the things that make YOU happy.
Which will then bleed into how you parent. Your kids will see you as a happy and healthy fun loving mum who seems to have her shit together!

So before you head off to bed tonight, just stop and breathe. Have a cuppa. Run a bath. Self-care comes in many shapes and sizes, so whatever calls you do it.
Take the time to just BE. Enjoy the calm.

Feels great, doesn’t it?

Now imagine if you kept doing it on a weekly basis 😉

What do you do for self-care? What COULD you do for self-care?

Why not comment below with your top tips to help other mamas stay sane, and share this post to help those you know…. You never know who’s feeling like they’re drowning in motherhood and needs a gentle reminder that we view them as important <3

Love and thanks for reading

Plinky xx

(PS, we’re on social media too – just click on the links below to join us and chat)
Facebook
Instagram
Pinterest